“Choose people who lift you”
We usually take relationships for granted. They teach us the importance of love. Better relationships in our life can lead to so much prosperity. Relationships are valid and important for so many reasons, including surfacing our emotional well-being, creating stability, it helps us learn how to be a good person, friend, etc. Each one of our interactions provokes unique emotions in us, allowing us to grow and know ourselves better. Relationships are like the glue, that binds together amid hard events and life challenges. We would have a deadened spirit and a lack of connection to our genuine selves if we did not have interactions. A healthy relationship is an important part of overall health and well-being. Through different studies, there is even evidence present that explains that healthy connections and relationships help people live longer with a happy life. In contrast, the potential dangers of being alone or isolated in one’s life are equivalent to those of cigarette smoking, high blood pressure, and obesity.
Relationships are of many kinds like family, friends, romantic relationships, work relationships, etc. Each has its importance and value. Romantic relationships are the ones that connect a person to another through love and attraction for each other. Romantic relationship tends to change over time. As exhilarating as they can be at the start, they might turn down a notch later. This can happen due to several reasons and one of the most important ones is when your partner is clingy and doesn’t give you your personal space. It observed that in a relationship it is mostly women who can’t detach themselves from their partners, especially when their partner isn’t making her feel secure in the relationship. Let’s look at a few ways that can explain how to avoid being a clingy girlfriend.
4 Ways to Avoid Being a Clingy Girlfriend
- Figure out why are you clingy
Your upbringing plays a very vital role here. Clinginess can also be associated with personal reasons and upbringing is one of them. Every individual, society, and environment has a distinct definition of what is and is not “clingy.” Ask other people’s views in your life to determine if you are clinging. You may also examine how people react to you in various scenarios. You can talk to a friend or family that you trust enough to open up in front of. You can ask them questions as roleplay with your partner so that you can have an idea of how to confront them, like:
“I think this is not okay since I am deeply considered about people that I care about and who are close to me. Do you think this is too intense?”
“I know you are busy and I don’t want to disturb you. Do you need some time alone or is it okay?”
Feeling clingy in a relationship doesn’t mean that you feel bad about yourself. Instead, it’s better if you just focus on yourself and your personal growth as an individual.
- Know your attachment style
As mentioned earlier, according to the upbringing experiences with their family and friends, people’s behavior and personal interactions are known by the attachment style. There are primarily four main types of attachments that arise from childhood experiences, first is Secure, which means that the child had a healthy happy relationship with their parents or caretaker. They feel protected and cared therefore there are no signs of being needy in such kids. Secondly, avoidant, such people seem emotionally present but always reluctant to reach out in times of need or in general as well. Then comes, ambivalent, such people are raised by parents or caretakers who are barely present in their lives. They feel insecure about themselves and feel as if they aren’t worthy of love which results in needy behavior later in life. Lastly are, disorganized, people who went through some severe trauma in their childhood. They may be unable to deal with the daily challenges that eventually result in inconsistent behavior. Regularly reaching out to your current network of supporters or using spirituality to cultivate detachment from dominating others may be helpful. Additionally, you may learn to detect when you’re acting anxiously and look at ways to push more toward stable ties. Knowing your attachment type or style may help you explore your development, develop self-love, and provide the groundwork for stronger relationships.
- Create some boundaries
Setting healthy limits and boundaries in a relationship shows that both partners value connection with each other and personal boundaries. These boundaries show that you respect and prioritize your own life and identity as an individual apart from the relationship too. This will establish the standard for how you want to be treated by others since it reflects how you want to be treated. Additionally, it gives you understanding and sympathy for whatever boundaries your spouse might have. A boundary might be anything like telling your partner not to call or contact you after you go to bed. Start up the conversation by expressing your perspective and feelings rather than automatically resorting to blame or accusations.
Personal growth is all about improving your behavior first rather than jumping on others. Therefore, when you feel clingy, having professional help can also be beneficial. You should discuss how you feel, and your struggles with your therapist. Once you get a better understanding of the reasons behind such behavior, you can slowly start working towards being compassionate.
It’s not always necessary to end a relationship to let go of the one you love, especially if you’re already in one. Giving your guy room to be himself is letting go of love. The fact is, we all require some alone time, whether it’s a romantic relationship or any. It’s an essential component of a healthy lifestyle, not merely a luxury. You must avoid being clingy if you’re truly in love and want to stay with this person. You may finally learn how to become a better, more dependable spouse now that you know how to quit being clingy.