When you love someone, you are tempted to move in with them and enjoy your time together, doing things you like together. This is the main question that all couples have at some point during a long-term relationship. Considering the rent and money you could save by joining your significant other is a practical decision. But knowing when to move in together is not necessarily something that easy, some couples make the decision quickly, taking the pivotal step soon after they start dating.
So, how soon is too soon to move in? Isn’t this indeed an interesting question? If you have been in a relationship for some time now you must be wondering the exact same ething. There are many reasons to take this step other than the financial issues and the possibility of seeing each other every day. One of the key reasons that couples decide to move in together is that some couples don’t support the idea of marriage immediately, they rather are open to sharing their lives with someone by living together.
Dr. Brenda Wade, a psychologist in San Francisco, California, says, “Same-gender couples, on average, move in together within 6 months. For all other couples, it seems to be on average about 2 years.”
Let’s look at a few pointers which can help us determine if we are ready to move in or not.
⦁ You are used to each other:
If you’re already spending most of your nights together, and have successfully moved passed disagreements, meeting each other’s families, and relationship hardships, you might consider these solid steps toward being together might actually help. Moving in without defining the relationship can be a complete disaster too.
- You communicate well:
Communication is the most important factor in any relationship, if you manage to communicate well, it means you are ready to move in. Poor communication skills can also lead to a lack of emotional intimacy which can be something to worry about. Communicating can help partners understand each other and get to know how they are feeling or what they want in a better way. If any argument takes place, it’s better to talk it out rather than run away from it.
- You have discussed your finances
Arguments over money and finances are all too common, and they can cause real harm to a relationship. Even partners who agree on everything may be surprised to discover they have very different views on money. Coming to an understanding early on about managing finances is just as important. And couples who don’t talk about money before marriage put themselves at greater risk of finance-related divorces down the line. Will rent be split down to the middle? Will the expenses be shared or separate? It’s good to decide all this beforehand.
- You know how much space each person needs:
You may need your own space, or you may or not be willing to share it with your partner. No matter the case, knowing the area each person needs is a prerequisite for moving in together. For starters, this can help you decide on the place. Do you or your partner have a big-enough house, or is it too small for both of you? Are they willing to give up some of their space for you? Do you need a house with more rooms to fulfill each other’s space needs?
- Do you know how to share the chores:
Research has shown that sharing house chores benefits relationships in many ways. Sharing the chores doesn’t always mean a 50/50 split though. For example, you may be working from home while your partner is back in the office. Consequently, you may need to do more house chores than them. The point here is every person knows how to chip in – so everything gets done just as needed. This will help prevent any resentment from building up, especially if you’re the one doing most of the work in the house.
- You love their friends and family like their own
Living with your partner means respecting their family and friends and adjusting yourself to them. You may even have to accommodate them from time to time. As the relationship expert, Maria Sullivan explained in one of her interviews, “Before moving in with a partner, you must evaluate how they feel toward your friends because everyone has that one friend who overstays their welcome. If their friends have become family, they won’t fight over hosting guests or unexpected visits which can relieve the stresses of living together. Go for it.”
- You don’t ignore your current problems:
Getting over a major fight is one thing. Readily addressing the small and mid-size problems that come after that is just as vital. After all, it’s one of the signs that you’re ready to move in together. See, ignoring the same old issues is never good. It’s enough to make you want to give up on love and walk away. As a modern-day shaman, Ruda, explains in a video that love is available to us if we cut through the lies that we tell ourselves. Simply put, we need to face the facts about love. The alternative is to end up in loveless relationships or endless dating frustration that only leaves us cold and empty. The alternative is to be sunk in stagnant codependency, unable to resolve issues.
- You can handle their mess:
Maybe you’re lucky enough to be with a partner who’s as tidy or messy as you. But if that’s not the case, you know you’re ready to move in together if you can tolerate their mess. If you can deal with closing their half-open cabinets or collecting their dirty clothes, then you’re good to go. To conclude this, we can now see that moving in with your partner is indeed a big step, and that’s why at times it can be crucial to decide if you are really prepared to make this move. Hopefully, the signs above have shed light on whether or not cohabitating with your partner is a good idea. Remember, you shouldn’t rush into things!