When you start dating someone new it can be really exciting and frighting at the same time. Since you do not know that person well enough you are very interested in learning more about them. Getting to know someone better can take a little while and it can be difficult to decide where to start, after all, you do not want to come off too strong or intimidating. This is why we have compiled a list of these 21 questions for a new relationship that will help you break the ice and get to know your partner better.

These questions will not only help you see what type of a person you are in a relationship with but you will also get to know how their beliefs are similar or different from yours. You will get to know why they are the way they are and what their school of thought is and where it originates from. Knowing the answers to these questions will also help you avoid some future conflicts as you will already know what your partner is likely to do. It will also help you know what to expect from your partner in the future and if you can picture yourself spending a lifetime with someone like them.

These 21 questions start off lightly to set the tone for the later ones that are somewhat serious. Having this session with your partner will make you feel connected to them on a deeper level:

  1. What inspires and motivates you the most?

Having something that inspires you and motivates you to do better is important for everybody’s character development. Knowing what inspires your partner will help you gain an insight into their character and these shared inspirations may help you get closer to them. Having a driving force in your life is essential for growth and productivity and knowing what drives your partner may even help you become a better person.

2. What is the most important thing on your bucket list?

Just like having inspiration, it is also important to know what are your partner’s goals and what the things they want to accomplish before they die. It will make you see what they deem important and things they are likely to focus on. You may find something to be too weird or strange but they will eventually help you learn more about them. Also, there is no doubt you will find a thing or two that are present on your bucket list too. You can use these things to plan out your future outings and plans to help you two bond and tick off these bucket list items together.

3. What does friendship mean to you?

A few of the most important people in anyone’s life are their friends. We all love our friends and they are the people closest to us who know us better than anyone else. Knowing if your partner shares the same beliefs and if they cherish friendships just as you do is really important. This is so crucial because, at the end of the day, you want your parent to be your friend too. It is likely you will also get to meet your partner’s friends soon enough and that will help you even more as you will get to see how your partner is around them and what type of people they call friends.

4. What are your opinions about your exes?

This also includes knowing if your partner is still on talking terms with any of their exes. Knowing your partner’s opinions about their exes will help you determine what type of a person they are, if they are the kind that bashes their exes and speaks ill about them and calls them crazy or the kind that still holds respect for them no matter what. You will want your partner to treat you the same way if you guys ever break up.

5. Do you want a long-term commitment?

Directly asking them if they are open to marriage can be tricky and may come across as too intimidating but it is your right to know where your partner stands on the line and asking them this question is the best way to find out. It will prepare you for the future and avoid any heartbreaks that may come later down too. Maybe your partner is not looking for a long-term commitment or maybe they do not want to get married ever. Hearing them answer this helps you decide if you want their thoughts to align with yours or if you two want something completely different from this relationship.

6. Do you want kids one day?

You may think it is too early to ask a question like this but it is better to know beforehand. After all, you do not want to spend years with them only to later find out that they do not share the same opinions as you. Having kids can be really important for some people and they might not be willing to change their decision so, it is important that both of you clearly discuss what your thoughts are regarding the topic.

7. How would you rate your mental health?

If your partner does not have stable mental health and if they are not going to therapy or trying anything to make it better, it can cause a huge impact on your life as well. Someone who is not mentally healthy or does not consider their mental health a priority would also not consider their mental health important and this is something none of us deserve.

8. How is your relationship with your parents?

The relationship your partner shares with their parents can be a mirror of how your relationship will go on. If your partner is not on good terms with their parents it might be because of some underlying issues and these issues can come between the two of you as well. However, if they have a good relationship with their parents, it can be a sign of their healthy and positive attitude to relationships.

9. What is your biggest guilty pleasure?

This is a fun question that will surely get you some interesting answers as well as help you know your partner better. You might even relate to their guilty pleasures and share the same with them. No matter what their answer is, you will feel more connected to them after it and it will strengthen your bond with them for the better. You will discover what makes your partner embarrassed or how they feel about discussing their secrets with you.